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Kind / Of

from Choosing Sides by LINE

/

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about

Kind / of was the first song in this project. More accurately, when I wrote it I knew I intentionally wanted to build a project around it, thematically and sonically, through writing new material and gathering together past songs that fit. This is a pre-breakup song, from a tipping point where all the truths about a relationship suddenly became illuminated for me. The written lyrics are important to me, because they explain the line breaks in the song, each split capturing the tensions I was feeling at the time. I struggle in general in life to find a healthy balance between tact and honesty. At the time I wrote this song, I had gotten to a point in this relationship where I felt like I couldn’t be honest. I was so concerned about external responses to my actions that I stopped truly knowing who I was or what I wanted. The lyrics “kind / of” are important to me, because withholding honesty when things get difficult isn’t a “close second” alternative to kindness; it has the potential to cause real harm, but it can also be a defense mechanism we use to protect ourselves under challenging circumstances. What’s more, kindness and honesty are not opposite, either. I believe that we do not need to choose between them. I know it’s possible to hold these approaches simultaneously and use them together with wisdom. This is a lesson I will continue to learn and relearn. --MB

lyrics

When you cut my heart out and stayed a while
Did I pull the outside in or my insides
Out / of body and out of mind
I can't be honest so I'll be
Kind / of impossible to read ‘cause
It's dark even when we keep the lights on
You always think there's something on my mind
I could never really know it
My eyes were out of focus, but now I see it

All / my words
Bear some curse
Wind it up and
Throw me your worst
All our time
In this bed of mine
Takes a breakdown to reverse
And I

Know everything's fine when you skim the first pass
You said it was wrong to not give you a second
Chance / ain't worth it for the rest of my time
When every hour we roll these
Dice, even though wherever they fall
The only thing I am assured of is
I’m always doing something else wrong
I never really noticed
My eyes were out of focus, but now I see it

I can’t be honest
I can’t be honest
I can’t be honest
I can’t be
Honest, so I’ll be
Kind / of impossible to read, ‘cause
It’s dark even when we keep the lights on
You always think there’s something on my mind
You think there’s something on my mind
You think there’s something on my mind

credits

from Choosing Sides, released February 7, 2020

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LINE Madison, Wisconsin

LINE is a multi-genre, collaborative music project by artist Maddie Batzli. Maddie works as a solo artist and with bandmates Esther Chun, Austin Lynch, and Will Ault to create songs ranging from acoustic folk to indie rock to synth pop. LINE operates under the premise that music has no limit as a means to collective healing. ... more

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